Widening Eyes to the Refusal to Widen Roads

Mayor Kathy Taylor has a plan. A $2 billion plan to widen city streets in Tulsa. Five of them. In south Tulsa.

Never mind how narrow the streets are in midtown, specifically Peoria between 21st and 31st, Lewis Ave. from 15th south to about 51st, and sections of Utica, Harvard, and Yale in midtown. So the city has decided to widen roads where the roads are already more manageable than midtown. We midtown-ers appreciate that, very much...assholes.

The best part and highlight of the whole road-widening drama is Councilor Bill Christiansen's (who is a big cock, by the way) comments as quoted to Fox 23 news,

"The citizens in south Tulsa pay a lot in taxes, they live in big homes and I think at the end of the day, if you look at the quality of life issue we need to widen the streets in south Tulsa."

If this isn't his "let-them-eat-cake moment", I'm not sure what else will be. The lack of outcry from the residents in the neighborhood south of Utica Square is bizarre and lost on me. It's almost as if dividing lines have been drawn between south, mid and north, and the councilor isn't even trying to disguise whose side he's on.

Not-Really-Tulsa's American Idol Winner

David Cook won this year's season of everyone's favorite grand-stand karaoke contest and immediately earned his spot in the hearts of teenage girls, 40-year old gay men, and middle-age mothers desperately clinging to their ill-conceived notions of cool. Congratulations, I suppose. Thanks for playing. I'll try not to mention the fact he completely emo-ed, Nickelback-ed, and 30 Seconds to Mars-ed one the greatest songs ever:



I know, right? A complete abortion.

This entire season of American Idol the Tulsa media has been on their respective knees consistently, passionately, and lovingly performing a great deal of fellatio on everyone's new favorite Tulsa-transplant--David Cook.

The Urban Tulsa Weekly featured him, Carrie Underwood and some 4th-rate reality stars on the cover of the May 14th issue. Even the Urban Tulsa Weekly, a publication generally regarded as Tulsa's "independent weekly" has fallen in love with the goofy-smiled (yet seemingly humble) crooner (and Beatles destroyer).

David Cook isn't even from Tulsa! Jesus. Did he live here after graduating college? Yes, does that make him from here? Hardly. He was born in Houston and raised in Blue Springs, Missouri. According to Wikipedia, he moved to Tulsa after college graduation to pursue a career in music. Which is a completely fucking insane decision. He must have thought Bob Wills still kicked ass here weekly. Poor guy.

So he played in some bands, tended some bar and other neat shit, made some friends, etc. And now everyone in Tulsa can't get enough of him, like they're going to run into his parents at Target.

It just speaks to the importance Tulsa wished it had. After the devastating cyclone in Myanmar, and the earthquake in China, a few news article popped up with headlines similar to this made up one:
Tulsa's Chinese Connection
Here are some examples: here and here.

Those are just two examples how the Tulsa and Oklahoma media tries to interject the state into every single national or world event that occurs. One of those articles is somewhat interesting, but neither of them are particularly relevant.

We are the kids in the sandbox urinating a love note for our teacher screaming for her to pay attention to us. We just aren't that important, and no matter how much we pretend, we can't change people's origin. No matter how many people tell you they had a beer or bummed a smoke from David Cook, he just didn't grow up here--but we'll gladly accept and welcome him (even retrospectively) because that's what kind of people Oklahomans are (as long as you aren't gay or a minority). So welcome, David Cook, as a Tulsa resident--just please give the Beatles a rest.