Not-Really-Tulsa's American Idol Winner

David Cook won this year's season of everyone's favorite grand-stand karaoke contest and immediately earned his spot in the hearts of teenage girls, 40-year old gay men, and middle-age mothers desperately clinging to their ill-conceived notions of cool. Congratulations, I suppose. Thanks for playing. I'll try not to mention the fact he completely emo-ed, Nickelback-ed, and 30 Seconds to Mars-ed one the greatest songs ever:



I know, right? A complete abortion.

This entire season of American Idol the Tulsa media has been on their respective knees consistently, passionately, and lovingly performing a great deal of fellatio on everyone's new favorite Tulsa-transplant--David Cook.

The Urban Tulsa Weekly featured him, Carrie Underwood and some 4th-rate reality stars on the cover of the May 14th issue. Even the Urban Tulsa Weekly, a publication generally regarded as Tulsa's "independent weekly" has fallen in love with the goofy-smiled (yet seemingly humble) crooner (and Beatles destroyer).

David Cook isn't even from Tulsa! Jesus. Did he live here after graduating college? Yes, does that make him from here? Hardly. He was born in Houston and raised in Blue Springs, Missouri. According to Wikipedia, he moved to Tulsa after college graduation to pursue a career in music. Which is a completely fucking insane decision. He must have thought Bob Wills still kicked ass here weekly. Poor guy.

So he played in some bands, tended some bar and other neat shit, made some friends, etc. And now everyone in Tulsa can't get enough of him, like they're going to run into his parents at Target.

It just speaks to the importance Tulsa wished it had. After the devastating cyclone in Myanmar, and the earthquake in China, a few news article popped up with headlines similar to this made up one:
Tulsa's Chinese Connection
Here are some examples: here and here.

Those are just two examples how the Tulsa and Oklahoma media tries to interject the state into every single national or world event that occurs. One of those articles is somewhat interesting, but neither of them are particularly relevant.

We are the kids in the sandbox urinating a love note for our teacher screaming for her to pay attention to us. We just aren't that important, and no matter how much we pretend, we can't change people's origin. No matter how many people tell you they had a beer or bummed a smoke from David Cook, he just didn't grow up here--but we'll gladly accept and welcome him (even retrospectively) because that's what kind of people Oklahomans are (as long as you aren't gay or a minority). So welcome, David Cook, as a Tulsa resident--just please give the Beatles a rest.

Tulsa Loves Tom Waits

Tom Waits is coming through town, Wednesday, June 25th for a special evening at the Brady Theater (special only because he actually chose to stop in Tulsa). Expect to cough up a nice chunk of change for the tickets--the two ticket limit should run around $192.00 after fees and tax. There are also some very paranoid rules about the tickets: a photo ID must be presented matching the name of the credit card used to purchase the tickets, the tickets cannot be picked up before 6:30 PM the night of the show, at which time the purchaser and their guest will be escorted into the venue and not granted reentry if they choose to leave the event, and the tickets can only be purchased online or over the telephone.

I'm sure the rules are Tom Waits' and are in place to discourage (and effectively eliminate) scalping, but it did make scheduling a time to call in our order a little difficult, however, we got around it and are no longer bitching like children. It should be great, and hopefully we'll see you there.

Return From Dallas

We just made a recent trip to Dallas to witness one of the single greatest live musical performances in recent memory: Radiohead at the Superpages.com Center (formerly the Smirnoff Ampitheatre...I guess). The show was awesome, the food and drink: overpriced; the $40 tshirt: probably worth it (time will tell).

Dallas, however, sucks. The drivers are astoundingly idiotic, the roadways are congested and the people are just generally rude. We saw some friends we've been separated from for a while and we also urinated in a flowerbed outside of the Cotton Bowl(yes, it was necessary...I mean, we were only waiting in line to leave the concert for an hour).

Enjoy!

Exceptionally Long Delay

Much has happened in the past month (moving, car wreck, etc) that has seriously limited my ability to update The Reluctant Tulsan, but we should be set to be back on schedule and regular updates soon. In the meantime, enjoy these images of celebrities if they were from Oklahoma...after the jump!

If Celebs Moved to OK