More Annoying Little Links...D-O-U-C-H-E-B-A-G Spells Tom Coburn

For reasons unexplained and not understood I was rather touched by this picture of screenwriter Diablo Cody are her Oscar for "Juno". You can find another Diablo Cody blog here.

Another Tulsa blog, Alternative Tulsa, posted this yarn about Senator Tom Coburn for the politically minded.

In addition to AT's thread, I have posted below the actual response, ver-fucking-batim, from our esteemed junior senator's office addressed to yours truly in regards to my concerns over a potential conflict with another Middle-Eastern nation. You would think a US senator's staffers would double check these things...before I post them all over the internet. Absolutely nothing has been edited or changed by me, except for the removal of my name (in brackets).

Dear Mr. [Reluctant Tulsan],

Thank you for your message regarding a potential war with Iran. I'm sorry you have felt ignored by your representatives in the past, but I assure you I read each letter I receive from an Oklahoman. I you're your comments to heart.

I do agree with you we should not be afraid to talk to Iran, and we are doing precisely that behind the scenes and out of the public spotlight. Make no mistake, diplomacy has been and remains our first-option in dealing with Iran, and it is my hope diplomacy will prove successful. Years of negotiations and discussions have produced a United Nations resolution placing sanctions on the current regime, but I am not convinced it will be enough to deter them from their pursuit of nuclear weapons. At this point, though, I have no intention to vote for a war with Iran.

With that said, there is no doubt Iran has had at least some role in insurgent operations in Iraq. There are indications they have supported, financed and equipped Shiite militias in Iraq. We have acted swiftly to cut off this support and we will continue to do so. Iran's desire to establish itself as the dominant force in the Middle East cannot be allowed to manifest itself in Iraq.

The Iranian regime, even without nuclear weapons, is a threat to the world. For decades, Iran has been exporting terrorism abroad while terrorizing its own citizens. The United States must do everything it can to not only prevent Iran from obtaining nuclear weapons capabilities but also prevent Iran from continuing to bolster terrorist efforts around the globe. Therefore, I believe all options should be on the table when it comes to Iran. Since Iran's leaders have demonstrated a desire and commitment to see America's destruction, it would be against our best interest to limit our actions without consideration for current events.

We should keep in mind the words of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad when he said, "We will soon experience a world without the United States and Zionism . Undoubtedly, I say that this slogan and goal is achievable, and with the support and power of Allah, we will soon experience a world without the United States and Zionism and will breathe in the brilliant time of Islamic sovereignty over today's world."

Again, I appreciate your input and suggestions and I look forward to hearing from you again.

Sincerely, A

Tom Coburn

United States Senator

TC: BRB

Returned From St. Louis--Zero Confirmed Nelly Sightings

However! Not all was lost. We all had a great time at The City Museum and going to see Avenue Q at the Fabulous Fox Theatre...we also went to the mall.

Pictures to follow soon...maybe

One of the most startling things about the trip was the difference in road quality between the states of Missouri and Oklahoma. It's literally (to steal a phrase) like a line is drawn and once you cross that line the roads either turn great or unbearably shitty depending on direction headed.

Damn Girl! I-44's Butt Lookin' BIG

The first home to be moved for the I-44 widening project was moved today. The project will widen I-44 from four to six lanes from Riverside to Yale Ave. Don't expect anything even remotely resembling immediate congestion relief though--it will take 8 months or so (probably longer) to relocate the homes and then 6-18 months to relocate utilities. Major construction of the roadway itself is not expected to begin until 2010...which means 2012 at the earliest.

Sexuality Survey

Much thanks for my friend Maka for posting this on MySpace:

~REPOSTED FOR THE RESEARCHER

I've worked with the late Fritz Klein on several bisexual topics, and now I'm conducting a 100% anonymous research study online, which takes 15 to 30 minutes to complete. It's officially approved by the human subjects committee at San Diego State University. It's about sexual attractions and personality, and I want to recruit a large number of adults, regardless of whether they are female or male, bi, gay, or straight.

I still need about a hundred more responses from self-identifed bi women and men. 50 or so more from the other groups (straight and gay) would also be wonderful, so tell all your friends of those persuasions, too!

Go to:

www.AttractionStudy.org

and check out the consent form and all that good stuff. Use the referral code livejournal when asked. And tell your friends!

Thanks so much!

-- JDW~

I encourage all who can participate to sign up, you really have nothing to lose.

The Reluctant Tulsan.

Caitlin's Corner--An Owner's Manual for Your Sexuality

And Now...The One, The Only-- Vincent Carbone

Hey there kiddos! ...It's Vincent Carbone here to answer your questions about love and Valentine's Day.

After a recent turd of a performance, a youngster came up to me and said "Hey Vince, I really feel like nobody likes me and I'm afraid I'm going to spend yet another Valentine's Day alone. What should I do?"

I reassured the young man that just because I was hurling insults at him all night doesn't mean no one likes him. It just meant I didn't like him, but I don't like anyone. There are a lot of feelings of inadequacy and shame that come free of charge whenever you attend a Vincent Carbone show. That's natural.

As to his Valentine's Day quandary I explained "Think of Valentine's Day as if it were any other day". However, he persisted. I then told him that if he insisted on thinking of Valentine's Day as a holiday it's better to put it on the level of Flag Day or Arbor Day. Hell, who hasn't spent one of those days alone.

But more to the point, I spend 365 days a year on the road, traveling from gig to gig, city to city, state to state. So I'm always alone. Every Goddamned day. Now sure there are easily tens of fans in every city who want to spend some time with old Vinnie, but I can't take them with me. If I did the authorities would sniff out my trail in no time. There are laws against kidnapping in all 53 United States. Mexico and Canada are a little more lenient, thank God. The good news is that in every city there is a liquor store and a Denny's or Waffle House. Some of the larger cities even have a casino or a kick-ass sex shop.

Still though, you may not have anyone to love you and spend time with you on Valentine's Day. So you've gotta love yourself. Why not treat yourself? Nothing cheers me up better than splurging for something nice I've wanted for a long time. This advice works for anyone. Say you normally go out to the corner and pay a whore $50 for a tugjob or a blowie. Instead splurge and pay the hooker a bill or more and get into some raunchy ass-sex. That should cure the lonelies. And you'll feel so warm and loved afterwards that you certainly won't have any feelings of guilt or shame. Trust me. No remorse.

So there you have it. You just chased away the blues with a little help from old Vincent Carbone. If you're still looking for more sage advice I suggest you come see me at the SoundPony with the Newark All-Stars on Valentine's Day.